Madeline's Author Comments on Saint Sebastian

So I think you guys can mostly intuit what I'm looking for in terms of feedback.  I'm looking to start sending this out soonish and want to know how it reads as a whole, whether the beginning (which I have heavily edited) flows smoothly and whether the ending fits and feels complete (or not).  I've also received the comment that the writing isn't direct/lewd enough for fourteen year old boys.  I'm not sure what to do about this since lewd wasn't at all what I was going for in terms of tone, but I'm interested to hear your opinions.

I would love line edits (which I understand is easier for those people with actual copies than it is for those without), but if you're not feeling it I understand.

Thanks! xoxo